Early morning fog over the Park

I woke up this morning to this, lingering fog over the Lido in Herne Hill 

Cake and Eat it

I made a cake at the weekend and here it is. 

A simple lemon zest sponge cake, it took me 20 minutes to make the mix, 30 mins in the oven.

As the cake was cooling I dropped some Lyle's Golden Syrup into the hole at the top which gives it a lovely sticky texture that goes well with the lemon zest in the sponge. 

sweet potato pie

This is a dish recently cooked for me by my friend Dennis whilst visiting here from Australia. I didn't like the look of it at first but was pleasantly taken with the flavour and texture.

sweet potato pie

From what I remember you wrap the sweet potato in foil and bake and then peel off the skins and mash the potato into a thick mix, add some butter, 2 eggs, milk, almonds, sultanas, cinnamon and brown sugar.

You then bake it in the oven until it gets a nice toasty crust. Its an old school comfy pudding, goes well with ice cream.

It fits in well with halloween, conkers and bonfire aromas, school dinners all rolled together.

Poppys in Brockwell Park summer 2013

Wildflower garden Brockwell Park 2013

Distant memories of summer in the park. This is the wild flower garden next to the Lido in Brockwell Park

Customer Service

These days business often seems to be focussed on generating new sales rather than looking after existing customers. It appears the customer is greatly valued at the point of capture, but shortly after this they are passed onto the ‘recently joined queue’ and left there to amuse themselves and pretty much ignored until the time comes to renew their annual subscription.

The beaming smile from the reception desk is reserved for new customers only and not to be given out to every Tom Dick and Harry.
I’ve always believed that if a business focuses on delivering customer satisfaction ensuring that the customer receives complete attention and enjoys their experience with you, then they will return again and they will tell their friends about you. This to me is the best method of gaining new customers; deliver a good product to your existing customers and the new ones will follow from recommendations.

Over the past couple of years I have noticed a developing culture of sales over service. So when I had the need to make a complaint as I did two years ago after a visit to Wembley to see the England football team take on Switzerland I was pleasantly surprised with the manner in which I was treated.

The stadium was vast and it felt like I was entering an enormous shopping mall. We found our seats and after staring round goggled eyed for a few minutes we sat down just as the crowd began to cheer the players onto the pitch. I won’t bore you with details of the team or the match; it’s irrelevant to my piece.

All the fun started when the half time whistle blew and we got to have a look around the see how much money they have spent on the toilets. It was the only thing I knew about the place before I arrived, Wembley had more toilet facilities than any other stadium of its size. They seemed to have enough facilities to cater for the mass crowds, to relieve them of as much cash in ten minutes as was physically possible.

Basically the theory is, get the customers in and out of the toilets as quickly as possible because when their queuing for the loos they ain’t spending money. Unfortunately after you have been to relieve yourself in the toilets you then had to join the queue for the food, which was long and painfully slow. We stood in line for ages and then finally got to order two soft drinks from the bar which were flat, mine was actually undrinkable. I tried to find someone to change my drink or take my complaint, however the staff member couldn’t find the supervisor and the second half was about to start so we didn’t bother to pursue the matter, instead we returned to our seats with a flat coke and a sprite which was made up of only water and had cost me six quid. This was about the time that I kind of lost interest in the game and my whole Wembley experience went a bit flat.

A couple of days later I decided that Wembley should get to hear about it, I sent an email to the business development manager explaining my situation. To my surprise he replied on the same day and promised to address the problem. I was very happy when they offered me two free tickets should I be planning a return visit.

I didn't have reason to return to Wembley until some two years later, when they kept their promise and gave me two free tickets for the England vs Moldova World Cup qualifier and they even threw in a free drink and a bite to eat in Club Wembley.

Wembley 6 September 2013 

I am happy to say that on my return to the national stadium, customer service was back on the menu. We were given great seats, just behind the manager's dugout and everything went smoothly including a win for England on the night.

Although at £500 a pop, Club-Wembley seats are a luxury, one that I hope to enjoy again sometime soon.

Misty October Morning London

A misty October morning over Brockwell Park at 6.47am

Dearly Beloved High Street

Much has been written lately of the demise of the High Street as a shopping experience and various solutions have been put forward as to how we could save it. 

Here’s my question, addressed to Mr Cameron and Mr Clegg

Does the government actually want to save the High Street?

And if so- what plan if any, does the Government have for securing the future of the High Street?

The High Street needs a level playing field if it is to compete with online retailers who enjoy vastly reduced operating costs and as we have seen recently with Amazon very dubious tax liabilities. If the High street based retailers are to compete on price then we need to look at ways in which their overheads could be reduced.

I know from running businesses myself that one of the greatest costs to the retailer is business rates. May I suggest cutting the burden of Business rates which in some cases are almost as high as the rent? Maybe then we would see a return to the High Street with people actually going out to shops to make their purchases.

Here’s an alternative theory for why the government seems to favour the online economy over the high street.

The majority of the population is sat at home watching subscription TV and shopping online, whilst ordering in food, why bother going out of the house?

People are more controllable and less troublesome when they are sitting on their sofa indoors, even better if they are spending money at the same time.

Bangkok to Ko Chang

We left our hotel in Bangkok at about 8.30 in the morning and took a taxi across town to Ekamai Bus station. We were in the morning rush hour and so from the Sathorn road to the bus station took us a good forty five minutes. On arrival we bought a ticket for the 999 bus to Laem Ngop for our island adventure on Ko Chang.

The Bus was your normal size 50 seater Mercedes Benz which was parked up in front of the terminal. I had pondered on getting a Minibus but in the end decided on the coach as we thought we might be safer in the larger bus which did come with seat belts and also had a toilet in the back.

The total cost for two tickets to Laem Ngop was 550 baht, pretty cheap considering you’re on the bus for best part of six hours which includes a twenty minute stop at a service station for a toilet break and a quick bite should you need it, beware though they depart pretty damn quick from the break and we received some stern looks and words from the driver as we were the last two people to get back on the bus.

I'm not sure what the difference is between the 999 and a minibus but I guess it might be the number of stops you make on your journey. We seemed to stop every twenty minutes for the first two hours which gets a bit tedious but then you can't complain when you think about the cost of the fair and the coach does have air con which was very cool and on one occasion very calming when the driver had to brake hard and we swerved to avoid something, the bus rolled from side to side and there was a deep thud as we hit the grass verge on the centre reservation , my heart was in my mouth as well as the rest of the passengers as we were jolted into upright seat positions . Whatever it was the driver didn't stop so I presume no lasting damage was done; one good thing about these buses is that they seem to be fitted with a speed limiter as most of the time we were being passed at about sixty mph by open topped pickups carrying workers and stacked high with fruit. For once in my life I was pleased not to be travelling in the fast lane, better late than never as the saying goes.

We arrived at the port and bought two ferry tickets, about one hundred baht each and we were taken down to the jetty in a small minibus where a huge rust coloured roll-on car ferry awaits us. We get on board along with about fifty other people and twenty-odd trucks and begin our crossing to the island which appears to be about five miles in the distance and from where we are looks like an enormous dark green moss-covered mountain. It takes about an hour to make the crossing and as we get closer to the island the dark green moss reveals itself to be a mass of tropical rain forest with huge trees towering into the sky. We land on the east coast of the island where we are met by numerous taxis which are big white pickup trucks with drivers anxious to get us on board.

Everyone on our taxi seems to be headed for White Sand Beach, the driver collects sixty baht from each of the passengers and were quickly on our way. It's a twenty minute ride over the hilltop to the west coast. We reach the top of the hill and begin the winding descent emerging from the lush green forest around a steep rock face and the west coast reveals itself, a magnificent palm lined stretch of white sand.

White Sand Beach Ko Chang Thailand

The taxi drops us off in the centre of White Sand Beach road and we head off in search of a room. This was the part of the trip that was unscripted although we did have a few prompt cards in the bag and one of them pointed us in the direction of Paddy’s Palm resort which happened to be a five minute walk from where we were and at nine hundred baht a night , very reasonable too. We had been on the road for most of the day, the bags were getting heavy and we needed a drink, so we said yes to Paddy’s and checked in.

Having found somewhere to put our heads down for the night we headed back out to check out the beach, we didn’t have far to go. We take a short walk down the hill, a slip across the road and we are on the beach at last, flip the sandals off and dip our toes in the ocean.  

My week at SXSW Austin Texas

With the recent passing of another SXSW conference and festival I have been reminded of the eight days I spent in the Texan sunshine in 2009 with John Lynch of The Dream Machine.

After a long 10 hour flight from London and the initial panic of having no phone, no money and no room, I quickly re-adjusted to SXSW time. I realised that Austin does not allow you to rush; you have to leave all your worries at the immigration desk.

I had managed to speak to John whilst changing flights in Atlanta airport and arranged a rendezvous, so on arrival I hopped on the downtown bus and headed for 6^th street on Red River, where I was met by John (the hairy one) and we went for a drink at the Beauty Bar a fitting start to what turned into an amazing week.

The opening night began at the Austin Music Awards where ‘the hairy one’, (also the music booker at the Half Moon) was designing the on-stage lighting for the Black Angels. John was accompanied on the control desk by an assistant going by the name of ‘Chopper’, I think John found this rather comforting.

The Black Angels SXSW 2009

John Lynch with Chopper on lighting desk for The Black Angels SXSW 2009

I found a spot at the front and plonked myself onto a very noisy sub-base and began to soak up the evening. The proceedings started rather like an annual golf club dinner with the inductees into the Austin Music Hall of Fame being invited onto the stage to collect their awards. The most notable being Alejandro Escovedo, with several accolades including best album for ‘Real Animal’.

The legendary Austin punk band The Dicks kicked things off and then Alejandro gave a performance with the one remaining member of his band The True Believers. Finally The Black Angels took to the stage to end the show accompanied by Austin wildman Roky Erickson, formerly of the 13^th Floor Elevators.

Rocky Erickson with The Black Angels SXSW 2009

Thursday night I headed for the Elysium for a date with Pete Murphy, ex Bauhaus man, he goes by ‘Peter’ these days and now lives in Istanbul.

This was a raw performance from Murphy, who reeled the audience in, with a quintessentially English performance, giving all he had, until he was, in his own words ‘exhausted’.

He paused for breath and chatted with the audience to cries of ‘Pete we love you’, to which Murphy replied ‘Why I’m a Moth’.

Peter Murphy at the Elysium SXSW 2009

Friday saw British band ‘Fanfarlo’ entertaining a packed Presbyterian church, a surprising choice of venue for a band with the audience seated in pews. They performed well and their horns and strings echoed around a cavernous pulpit. Not staying for the full sermon, I dashed off quickly to catch Graham Coxon perform some songs from his latest album. ’Sorrows Army’ a catchy little number, going down well to an otherwise distracted crowd of lounge bar drinkers.

Tricky headlined at the Austin Music Hall. Not knowing too much about this man apart from his Massive Attack days, I did not know what to expect. He gave a mesmerising performance through a cloud of thick smoke to a somewhat daunted crowd, some of whom got it, others didn’t. I suppose that is the whole point of Tricky.

 

Tricky SXSW 2009

Saturday afternoon was spent watching more bands in the sunshine of Waterloo Park, one of the many events happening ‘outside’ the official sxsw festival. There is much to do in this city and you don’t need to buy the official entry badge to have fun, although it does help when you want to get into a gig, as you get in first. At £695 dollars for a walk-up pass it’s not a cheap option, although it does give you access to the many seminars being held in the Austin convention centre. 

We then made our way up to 39^th street on Guadalupe to The Spider House, a coffee house and bar with a beautiful garden, thrown together with bits and pieces of old tat.

A stage in the garden provided the perfect platform for the many bands that were playing there over the weekend. The Spider House is right next to the campus and so attracts young students all busy working and playing on their laptops, what a great place to study. It reminded me of the time I moved to London and the best parties were in the back street arches and you didn’t need a fistful of dollars to create the best hang out in town, Check it out!

The Spider House Austin Texas 

Heading out south across the Colorado River we entered the show ground at Lady Bird Lake for a free concert which seemed to attract the whole of Austin. The Cannabinoids were performing with special guest Erykah Badu. The local crowd were tucking into their enormous turkey drumsticks and downing yards of Tequila in the strangest looking wine coolers I have ever seen.

I left early and so I missed local Austin band ‘Explosions in the Sky’; I will catch them another time. I had a far more pressing engagement, along it transpired with two thousand others to see PJ Harvey and John Parrish.

Polly Jean was due on stage at 10pm at Stubbs’ Barbeque on an outdoor stage in the car park.  Knowing there would be a huge queue for this, I decided to be early for once in my life. My punctuality was rewarded as I arrived just in time to catch Razorlight on stage with Johnny Borrell pumping out the last few lines of that catchy little number they do. I’m not a fan, but when you stumble across a band in full throw, one can indulge oneself in a little foot tapping.

A couple of beers later and a quick set change and the crowd rose to greet PJ and Parrish on stage. The audience were treated to a taste of their new album.

With lyrics like ‘Chicken liver heart’ and ‘Stuff it up your fucking ass’ PJ immediately got the crowd on-side. Harvey manages to combine the crude with the melodic and the result is beautiful. ‘Black Hearted Love’, the latest single capped off a stunning performance, this woman is truly ‘out there’ on her own.  

PJ Harvey with John Parrish SXSW 2009

Just when I thought I’d reached a high I suddenly realised the night was far from over, Echo and the Bunnymen were on at Rusty Spurs at midnight. Rusty’s is a great little bar where they do line dancing every Tuesday night. I had never seen Echo live but the ‘Cutter’ was my first ever 12 inch remix on vinyl some 27 years ago, so this was a trip down memory lane for me. Three hundred people packed into a ‘gay line dancing’ club to see a scouse band from the eighties congers up some interesting images.

Sunday at sxsw had another lovely surprise in store, we all headed off to South Congress to the San Jose Hotel car park to drink coffee at Jo’s café and explore the many vintage clothes shops. It’s a great spot for dog watching too, there’s even a rescue centre on the hill.

Jo's Cafe in San Jose SXSW 2009

Monday sees a mad dash for the airport as everything winds down. We delayed our departure until Tuesday when things had quietened a little; it’s also a good opportunity to see Austin return to normality and gave us the unmissable experience of dining at East Side Pies, a small shack on Rosewood Avenue that does the best Pizza in town.

Me with Shannon Sauter from KEXP Radio about to get a Pizza 

This was my first overseas festival and although not easy on the pocket, it’s one to put in your diary soon.

Robert Harrison

Pull The Other One

Omid Djalili headlines at the Half Moon Herne Hill 

‘Pull The Other One’ returns for their monthly night of mayhem.

The evening’s entertainment was seamlessly compered by Mrs Vivienne Soan and Mr Stephen Frost, who was standing in for Martin Soan who was at home nursing two broken ribs!

Djalili eased the audience into a sense of security and engaged them in a warm flow of mutual appreciation allowing him to deliver the goods freely with admirable stillness and ease.

Some of the jokes and observations that Djalili offers-up would not be out of place at the ‘Wheel Tappers and Shunters Social Club’, however the passage of time and the benefit of a foreign number plate allow him to venture into areas that would otherwise be out of bounds and yet when you analyse his material as he does himself, they are after-all Only Words.

It was a well-crafted, invigorating performance delivered to one-hundred and fifty people from the intimacy of a small stage in the back of a lovely pub; he could have been in your living room.

However the performance of the night has to go to Steve Best who closed the second act.  Anyone familiar with Pull The Other One, where the main act does not necessarily appear at the end of the show will realise the difficulty in going on after the break and after the main act has left the audience on a high.

Steve Best is what I can only describe as a cross between Tim Vine and Tommy Cooper, with his speed of delivery and timing; he appears to be random and unrehearsed which he obviously is not.

Best is a multi-talented performer and costume-juggling balloon artiste.  

He had me and the audience in stitches and he topped off what was a fantastic evening of comical variety.

Joke of the day goes to Steve Best

‘’Took my Girlfriends Orgasm to Christies turns out it’s a Fake’’

Pull the other One

Friday 11 January 2013

At The Half Moon Pub

London

Se24

www.halfmoonpub.co.uk

www.stevebest.com

www.ptoocomedy.com

Occlusal Trauma and Haddock & Chips

The thought of a trip to the dentist when you know there’s going to be bad news is not something I relish but the pain has been so excruciating that I just want to get in the chair and scream ‘’Get this thing out of my mouth’’.

I sit down in the chair and press my thumbs against my forefingers and squeeze hard.

I’m hoping he can’t read my mind. I know I know, floss in the mornings- floss in the evenings. How many do you smoke sir?

Ooh I gave up last week, just after this tooth started giving me gip. (This is me talking to myself of course.)

Thankfully my dental technician is not one of those finger-wagging flossers. I think we sorted that one out on my last visit. After all who is paying your wages my good dentured friend?

My last memorable extraction was over fifteen years ago and I don’t think I have suffered from having one less tooth in my head but as you get older the thought of losing teeth gets a bit scary. I’m thinking, how will I eat Steak with two teeth missing on the left side of my jaw?

Anyhow the bad news is, one is coming out and the other one can be saved, well at least for a couple of years. I reached that age when it all starts to fall apart. It happens to us all I’m told.

So I have them scraped and polished, it’s actually more painful than having a filling done. My teeth are looking shiny and clean and once again I’m able to walk pavements of Sw4 with my head held high.

I’m sixty quid lighter in the pocket and so I go for some retail therapy at Boots and stock up on all the things you buy when you’ve just had your teeth cleaned and polished.

Two hours later the numbness has faded and I’m thinking of food, but what can I eat?

Fish and Chips sprang to mind so I got myself off to Olleys Chippy just down the road from me and ordered Haddock Chips and Garden Peas.

Very nice it was too and a soothing way to end the day.

If you ever find yourself toothless Fish n Chips is the way forward!

Olleys Fish Experience

65 – 69 Norwood Road

Herne Hill

London

SE24 9AA

www.olleys.info